I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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