Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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