she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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