At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
