I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Green mimosas i think yes
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
