I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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