we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
