Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
