1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
