Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
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Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
You pole danced in your parka.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
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I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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