I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
