when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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