Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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