apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
