I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
