I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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