my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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