I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
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