Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
