I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
