I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
They left me at home... I'm a liability
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
