Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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