I think scott just propositioned me for sex
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
