Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
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with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
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6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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