Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
