Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize