Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
