You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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