I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Randomize
