he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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