I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
