sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
