I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
