yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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