So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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