How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Randomize
