Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
