Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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