just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
