He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
dude. I can hear the air.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
