Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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