i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
