I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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