Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Randomize
