in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
