me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
