Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
