Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
