oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
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