Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
