; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i don't like sucking hair
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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