We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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