yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
