Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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