This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
he fucked my hip out of place.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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