we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
