he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
